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She also said she blamed herself for a long time until she came to realize “the one thing that I did was that I trusted you,” she said, addressing Antonius directly.
Instead, she said, she was raped and “you have betrayed that trust. You have changed that (trust in people) beyond repair.”
She also lambasted Antonius for not taking responsibility for the assault and drawing out the legal process for more than four years since his arrest in July 2016, forcing her to testify at trial and listen to the sexsomnia defence, which she called “unfair and cruel.”
She said she felt further victimized and retraumatized by the long legal proceedings, including hearing “how this trial had already impacted your life enough.”
Antonius addressed the court in her absence, saying, “I understand how angry she is” and the “serious impact” “because of a horrible sexual assault she encountered.”
“She trusted me that evening and I violated her trust,” he said. “I’m very, very sorry for what I did.”
He said there “no excuses or explanations, only regret.” He said he feels “despair, self-loathing and disgust at what I did. I’ll live for the rest of my life knowing what I’ve done to (her name).”
He said he would like to apologize to her but didn’t think she would accept it.
The woman left the courtroom after reading her statement and didn’t stay to hear his statement.
Cullen is scheduled to deliver his sentence on Oct. 9.
